


Forgive Me Ben Platt (And Others)

by ConsiderableLogicality



Series: CRACK [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Crack, Explicit Language, I don't deserve to live after writing this, Mnt Dew Red, Other, Pain, Squip Suicide, bathbombs, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 11:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsiderableLogicality/pseuds/ConsiderableLogicality
Summary: I need mental helpUPDATE: Y'ALL THIS FIC NOW HAS A PREQUEL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11424072





	Forgive Me Ben Platt (And Others)

**Author's Note:**

> Why

"Repeat after me," said the Squip. "Everything about you is just terrible."

"Everything about me is just terrible..." Jeremy whispered.

"Everything about you makes we wanna die."

"E-everything ab-bout me makes me wanna d-die..." He said tearfully.

Suddenly, the door slammed open. Micheal MADE AN ENTRANCE.

"ExcUSE ME, SQUIGGITY SQUIP? HORTON HEARS A BITCH ASS LIAR!" Micheal screeched, punching the Squip. 

"JOKES ON YOU, MICHEAL, I'M A HOLOGRAM! YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME!"

"Hologram THIS, SQUIPWARD!" Micheal opened the door, revealing Tree Man, School Shooter Chic, and Bathbomb Boy.

"Who the fuck are you guys???" The Squip asked.

"I'm Connor Murphy, and I visit Micheal's basement to get stoned!" 

"I'm Evan Hans-" He was cut off.

"I'M THE INSANELY COOL JARED KLEINMAN!"

"YASSSS MY QUEENS!" Jeremy cheered.

"Speaking of QUEENS!" The door opened, admitting Zoe Murphy, Alana Beck, and Christine Canigula. They snapped their fingers. "WERK!"

"Can y'all just leave?" The Squip asked. "Cuz like I'm trying to do something here. And this is very distracting."

"He's trying to teach me how to be more chill (roll credits)." Jeremy informed.

"Chill, huh?" Zoe asked. "Well guess what, Squip Squip Cheerio? THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY!"

At the mention of Idina Menzel, Connor cried. 

"Disco GURLS! WATCH EM HURL!" Christine sang.

"Actually," Alana informed. "Girl is spelled with an 'i'."

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO CARES?"

"I care!" Evan piped up.

"Lying is a sin, Hansen." 

"Shut up, JARED."

JARED cryed. "JARED IN THE BATHROOOOOOM!"

"Omg same!!!" Micheal gasped.

They hugged. 

"Aw, besties!" Connor squealed.

"I thought I was your bestie!" Evan and Jeremy asked in sync.

"Nuuu, shut up!" Micheal and JARED replied.

"Will you guys just stop being dicks and-"

"NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION, SQUIP!"

"I asked!" Squip replied.

Out of nowhere, Evan turned into a werewolf. "Rawr!"

Suddenly, the Squip grabbed a bottle of Red Mountain Dew.

"I give up. You are all beyond help. Farewell." He downed the Dew.

"Did Squip just kill itself?" Jeremy asked. "Wow, we really are losers."

"Luckily," Micheal said, "THERE'S NEVER BEEN A BETTER TIME TO BE A LOOOOOSER!"

Then JARED whipped out some bathbombs for the whole squad-fam to CRONCH on. Twas a good day.

~~~FIN~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Just... Why


End file.
